carolion the exploroar: 2014

In my house, we always decorate for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving. That's the day CDs of carols play on repeat, dishes adorned with wreathes invade our cabinets, and just about every surface becomes a display center for holiday cheer: religious or secular, broken or repaired, last year's gift or great-great-grandma's sister's husband's whatever, and store bought or school project--which we can just interpret as "decent looking" or "embarrassing". Therefore, the decorations created by me and my two brothers throughout our elementary years are relegated to the kitchen.

Catholic school, lack of artistic ability, and a child's perspective adds a certain luster to objects below. So without further ado, I present: Laughing All the Way: Christmas Through the Art of a Child

I was 8 so this card is circa 1999

Here we have two angels descended to Earth in the form of obnoxiously large greeting cards, with a disproportionate amount of poorly written greetings. Brought to you by my middle brother, Michael, and yours truly. Mine reads: "Dear Family, Even though I have only been with you eight years, I still look back at the other Christmases and think of what fun we had. I love you very much and am sorry for doing anything wrong. So I want to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year." My handwriting, you'll note, is neat but poorly planned, and as I was too lazy to color another page of these ginormous angels, I gracefully shortened my message and crammed it all in at the bottom of the page. Apparent themes of Misperception of Life Span Relative to Most Other Humans, Blatant Plagiarism of Christmas-Related Media, and Catholic Guilt thread through the prose. Also, I have always been bad at drawing, but apparently I was bad at coloring, too. On to Mike.

Mike's note is a bit more direct. He does not take full advantage of the space allotted for the heartwarming tidings to his family. He writes:

"Merry Christmas and a Happy new year. It does
not take a good boy to make a good Christmas card!"

Ah, yes. Christmas clarity.

Moving into a more academic realm, we find a teacher's clever incentive for reading and responding, the holiday book report. Here, mom has painstakingly preserved the work of Mike and our youngest brother, John.

We must commend the boys on their outstanding grades which were teacher, parent, and self monitored through this official smiley-face-rubric. Mom makes a small appearance to point out that Mike draws a better Grinch than she can, thereby explaining that unfortunate family trait. Highlights from the summaries include

"The Grinch tride [sic] to stel [sic] Christmas. The Grinch took all ther [sic] presents and ther feast."

"The story takes place outside"

I have to admit, my favorite part is the signature:

"Michool Rogony" starting bid $5000

Now check this out. This greenery burdens a kitchen every year--Oh, look, candy! Wait a sec....How long has that been there? 1999!?!?

Two final gems to wrap up this holiday treat. I want to say that they speak for themselves, but is that Genghis Khan? Maybe just a Mongol warrior?

In the end, we know the true spirit of the season. Spreading Christmas love and cheer, and signing your last name for the people who don't remember you from last year.

In my last post from my time in Korea, I present to you, dear reader, the best part of Korea: 노래방 / Norebang. I can't begin to express to you the wonder of these private karaoke rooms, rented to the weekend-evening-enthusiasts for a low cost and a high profit. My own relationship with Norebang developed as it became clear that my fellow merrymakers and I prioritized a norebang stop in every place we visited throughout Korea (excepting Mudfest. Boryeong 노래방, you escaped our love). I hope these few snapshots help you to share in the glory that is Norebang, and may you one day come to know it's wonder.